Advice for Teenagers and their Parents

This was advice given to youth by a Judge in 1959. Yes, for many of us that's our parents and grandparents generation. But I would say that it still holds true today.

As a parent of teenagers, I can see that there are some things generally lacking in todays youth and they are:

*time spent with family, especially around the dinner table.
*time spent working or volunteering (lots of teens lack any work ethic at all).
*wholesome recreational activities and by that I mean what we used to call 'good clean fun'.

Now don't misunderstand, I'm not calling my kids or all kids lazy or super hard working either. They all have their moments. I'm just making some very broad generalizations about youth in general who have grown up with the internet and being connected for most of the hours of the day. They can text during school, snapchat during dinner, and be playing farmville and minecraft until they fall asleep. All the while avoiding a lot of face to face conversation with people as well as chores and reading/studying. And we adults often cater to this. Is it any wonder that they all go nuts when the power goes out because their devices might actually lose battery power soon? It's actually laughable to see the panic in their eyes. And by pandering to them I think that we've made the transition from student to adult worker harder than it needed to be. They haven't been broken in gently or had time to make mistakes. Most of us have worked a minimum wage job at some time that we hated and we had to learn to find another job, quit or get fired. So many young people today aren't even getting their first job until after college in their 20's and haven't made all the 'learning to get along with co-workers' mistakes that us older folks made when still in our teens. And chores seem to be a thing of the past too. When we lived in Greenwood we lived in a sub-division filled with families. And out of all my children's friends I think our kids were some of the only ones who actually worked for their allowance. There were some 10 year old's who receive $30 per week in allowance and do nothing for it while my kids slaved away for a few dollars per week. I know, I'm such an evil mother. But I'm glad that they've learned the value of a dollar.

Is it any wonder things in society are mixed up? Youth aren't learning the lessons they need to while still young, and yet at the same time children 10 years old are exposed to the internet and cable television unsupervised for 8 or more hours per day, more time than is spent in school and with their family combined in a huge number of cases. Who do you want shaping and teaching your children's minds? Yourself or the entertainment industry? We all say that children are growing up so fast these days but they're not getting a well rounded growing up experience at all unless they learn how to work for things, how to save and budget and how to get along with others.

And that's why I pledge the following:

*I will reduce the amount of time my children spend on the computer and watching tv
*We will eat more meals together at the table
*I will make volunteer work a regular activity and fun at the same time
*I will set an example by working harder myself and not complaining
*I will get to know my teens better
*I will provide more family time and activities
*We will set aside one evening a week to do something together

And I invite you to look at your teens and think about ways you can help them grow into responsible adults too. It's the best way we can help our planet and invest in our future.

Poor and Homeless in America - Did we create this problem?

Really, this covers people in many parts of the world. Europe, Asia, Africa, the Pacific...homeless or extremely poor people are everywhere. Here's an interesting report to view from the BBC if you've got a half hour. But it does show a political bias and seems to blame the bad things that are happening on a lack of welfare programs and employment. And while I whole heartedly agree that the imbalance of wealth is causing some real suffering, I also believe that the education and daily living skills we give our kids, that ability to make do and make the best of a situation, the desire to work for the basics, these are the foundations of a community that can weather storms be they economical or physical. Increasing resilience is important in this next generation of spoiled and coddled children who can barely hold down a 1-5 job at the grocery store because it might interfere with their 'personal life'.

Now I'm not saying that all poor people are lazy. But some families and communities definitely have an accepted idea that it's ok to not work year round or to just not work at all and live on welfare. This kind of culture is evident in many places. And it's this lack of expectation for something better that leaves people trapped in a mindset that poverty is someone else's fault. It's such a complex problem and there really are no magic pills or easy fixes. It's going to take years to educate people so that they want to move forward and so that the work and skills they'll need are there for them.

That's part of the reason that I'm so much into self-sufficiency. If communities can form around the basic idea that we all work together and we share the skills we have for the benefit of the community, then that's great. I'm not talking about communism where we are all equal; Communism does not work. I'm thinking about a community where we all do our own thing and are largely self-sufficient but where we trade and barter too. Those who work hardest and have better skills will do better but those who are less skilled. Sure they won't have all the luxuries but at least it will be a decent life and everyone can reap the fruits of their own labours. The sick are taken care of, children are taught to work and are treasured, the elderly are valued for their wisdom. We all look out for each other. Sigh. This can only happen if we are willing to accept that we are not all equal but that we have a common goal. It's how villages work, and what's the world really but a collection of villages all linked together.

If I had my way, I'd find some like minded people and buy a piece of land (I found a great piece near here that's almost a hundred acres for $45,000) for us to live and farm on. We'd legally divide it up and build our own homes and farms. I'd have some say in who my neighbours are and I wouldn't have to worry about people stealing my firewood or letting out the goats because they would understand and respect our farming philosophies. We'd all have our own homes and farms but maybe we'd trade my honey for your eggs. If this sounds interesting to you...let me know! 2 more families would be really welcome and I can send you pics of the land. :)

But since that seems unlikely to happen right now, we just focus on teaching our children the practical skills that many have forgotten. No teenager wants to be learning how to grow and cook beans when he could be out with his buddies, but we really hope that in the future it will turn out to be useful information and that by building both character and work ethic we have children who are happy and successful adults no matter what they decide to do with their lives. Maybe if some of the people featured in this video had a garden or some food stored away, they could have weathered the tough economic times better or at least bought themselves some time to figure out what to do. Maybe they would realize that food in the cupboard is more important than payments on a new car or computer. Maybe they'd remember that times have been tough before (think great depression in the 30's) and people had sayings they lived by like this one:

Fix it up, wear it out, make do or do without.

Grow Up!!

Normally I wouldn't post something controversial on a Sunday. After all, Sundays are a day of peace and rest, the Sabbath for much of the world. But since freedom to choose life and liberty or oppression and death is core to many religious traditions the world over, I thought I'd sneak this in here.

When people heard that we lived with no running water and no flush toilets for 2 months when the well ran dry, they were shocked and amazed. We just made do.

When people heard that we had plenty of running water but this time flowing over our fields, septic tank and all across the property during some flooding and were back using our composting toilet for another 2 months they were shocked. We just made do.

When the power went out for days at a time we heated using our ancient wood stove and baked cornbread inside it, albeit a bit sooty, and made chili or stew in a pot on top, people said we were true pioneers, but really we were just adapting to the situation. And didn't really think it was a big deal.

In our modern world we take things for granted, no doubt. We forget that running water and flush toilets are a convenience not a necessity though if you live on the 18th floor you might argue that fact. And many people who are not preppers or rural farmers take for granted that if life has gotten better for their parents then they are entitled to that too. Regardless of the fact that their parents have worked hard for their possessions and taken years to get their current standard of living.

In the LDS church our leaders have for years counseled us to avoid unnecessary debt and to work hard. To aspire to things but to work for them and be patient. That it's ok to have hand me down furniture when you're starting out and gradually upgrade. You don't need to have the same level of comfort as your folks have, they started out simply too. And I believe that.

So in that vein of appreciating what you have, working hard and following wise counsel....

Here's the controversial video. Thanks to Danny Muise for the link.